You might think I’m a little nuts for saying this but let me share this quick story…
(The tip of my scar shows as my blouse dips slightly below my collarbone. I reach to grab it and pull it up and he sees me.)
Him: Your scar is sexy!!
Me: (Flabbergasted)
Now this was the first time I’d ever heard someone blatantly tell me the thing I hated most was actually attractive. I was satisfied with it being at least somewhat tolerable but “sexy?” Really?
Here were the lessons I learned with that experience…
- Beauty is truly in the eyes of the beholder.
- Your vision of yourself is often the only vision you see even if others see something different.
- People don’t value perfection as much as we think. They value authenticity and vulnerability and there is nothing more vulnerable than letting someone see your scars (physical or emotional).
Learning to find the beauty in my scars took some practice and a lot of boldness.
One bold step was filming my “Scars” music video…
What are some creative steps that you can take to see your scars differently?
Tips for Living More Authentically:
- Stop judging yourself for not being “perfect” or “perfect enough”.
- Reason #1: Who’s to say that you are supposed to be being or doing anything different than you are at this moment? Even if you know you have some things to shift in your life, perhaps it has taken challenging moments or frustration to get you to your next level.
- Reason #2: What exactly is “perfect?” It’s kind of like the term “beauty.” It’s in the eye of the beholder because beauty is different to different people. You can be someone’s version of “perfect” just as you are.
- Stop the comparisons.
- You have no idea about the struggle others have experienced to get to where they are. You may not desire a similar journey.
- You have worked so hard to get to where you are. You deserve to celebrate your wins.
- You know deep down inside it’s an unhealthy thought process. Focus on refining the blessing that God has created YOU to be. It will save you time and energy to refocus on self-development and personal growth.
- Be honest about your shortcomings. Don’t hide them.
- Learn to laugh at yourself
- Don’t take yourself so seriously that you can’t enjoy your life.
- It’s ok to make a mistake. It’s a part of the learning process.
- Do you get made at a baby for learning how to walk? No, you cheer them on. Welp, you are God’s baby and you are learning how to walk through this life with physical and emotional bumps and bruises. Just get your bearings, stand up and keep walking.
- Be honest about your feelings and desires
- You have needs. Express them.
- You have dreams. Work toward them.
How can you lean into the authenticity and boldness that come with your scars?
Sample Ideas:
- A unique photoshoot.
- Have an open and honest conversation with someone you trust.
- Write a song
- Write a poem
- Write a book (or an ebook)
- Create artwork
- Dance
- Cook a meal that embodies your emotions
Be creative!